noun: betrayal; plural noun: betrayals
the action of betraying one’s country, a group, or a person; treachery; disloyalty, treachery, bad faith, faithlessness, falseness, duplicity, deception, double-dealing
Everyone experiences betrayal, from small ones to grand ones, betrayal is currently a common human phenomenon. We experience betrayal whenever anyone does anything contrary to what they said or promised, specifically that we feel causes harm to us.
I recently experienced what many would consider a truly grand betrayal, however, my experience of it was kind of like getting the wind knocked out of me, but in total peace and acceptance and forgiveness. I know it was my path, I had taken the right course, even as it led me to what many would consider a great loss, what I simply saw was providence, rightness, The Way…
The key to transcending betrayal is to truly understanding what it is, and more importantly, what it is not.
We tend to see betrayal as a wrong some other person or entity had done to us. They caused us harm, its their fault, they are the wrong-doers, they are the bad ones, they need punished, they hurt me. If you can flip your perception in reverse a bit, betrayal, and the pain you feel from it, is all self-created. Your thoughts on how horrible it was, how bad they are, how much it hurt you is what causes your suffering, not the actual deeds themselves. If you can understand this, which may take a lot of meditative contemplation, then you begin to understand how you are much the creator of all that you experience. This is the return of your own power, the power you have always given away to others, as you imagined they could actually hurt you and imagined they are the source of your pain, so shall they become, so they were, and so you felt powerless and angry and suffered.
Truthfully, betrayal happens when others do or don’t do what you expect of them. Is perhaps the fault in the expectation? This is a deep rabbit hole because our entire society is built upon the idea that we’re permitted to have expectations on others and they are required to live up to those expectations. I’ll try not to go too deep on this particular pain point, as it is an entirely other subject at the root of most of our self-created suffering.
Let’s instead focus on the fact that you trusted someone, and they betrayed that trust and did something that you feel harmed you. Let’s assume you also have some understanding or belief in the Oneness of All that Is, and a desire to live in a world without so much suffering and pain. Now lets take that and remember some famous last words:
Forgive them father; for they know not what they do.
Whether you are Christian or not is unimportant. Whats important is the story of a man being crucified as he screamed out these very iconic words.
These words have always echoed in my mind throughout my life… they always seemed so majestic and altruistic, but also, strangely, so righteous and self-important. Like a “holier than thou” complex. Now most people who know the story do think Jesus was holier than thou so it is fitting. However, in my studies of the historical figure, he never touted himself as holier than anyone, and instead through all his teachings tried to help others find their own divinity as he had his.
It was only recently that I came to truly understand the meaning behind these words (and perhaps even their original meaning before many translations and rewrites), which goes a little more like this:
I do not wish to live in a world of such suffering and pain. These people do not see broad or clearly enough to understand how, through their wrong-doings, are creating so much more suffering and pain for themselves. They cannot see how their self-serving actions ultimately harm themselves, and if they did, they would not do it. I forgive them fully and completely, as if no harm is done unto me by them, to the point where forgiveness itself is not even necessary, for I recognize no harm. I pray they do not create more suffering for themselves, and I pray that they transcend their cycle of suffering and come to the awareness of the Unity they share with All That Is.
This, to me, is less righteous and holier than thou. It has a recognition of the oneness and unity I AM with those who do not know They Are, and even as they cause harm, I wish them no ill-will or suffering to be generated from that harm, for the world has enough of such, and I wish to live in world free of this burden.
So it is ultimately, not so selfless, but self-centered. Finally this phrase that always echoed in my mind made complete and total sense. No longer did I conflict with the selfless righteousness of the biblical statement, I found its truth at the heart. We are all One, but are at different vibrations in the course of our Journey, I am not being righteous, I simply do not want more suffering created, and specifically, do not want any suffering created in relation to me, at all, ever.
Wait, being selfless is a bad thing?
Many believe self-less is the righteous path that we should all seek for absolution and inner peace. I understand why they think this, for its supposed opposite is self-ish, which we can clearly see as the cause of great harm (and betrayals). I, however, have always felt there’s another path, and I call it self-centered. It is a phrase that has been used to also mean selfish, but I define it otherwise. To be centered in self is truly the goal of those seeking freedom from their own sufferings and karmic cycles. To be self-centered is to be focused on fulfilling self, for that is why you have chosen this life, but in that centeredness, you are aware of your connection to all others, so as you serve your self, you happen to serve others; not because you tried to, intended to, or even wanted to – but because true self-service is in service to All That Is. If we all focused on self-centered we would fulfill ourselves and the world simultaneously, ending the perceived cycle of what is given must also be taken.
So to transcend Betrayal,
Seek the realization that you truly have no right to dictate what others should do, then rest in the knowing that you do not want any more suffering and therefore wish no suffering to be caused, especially in relation to you, as that will link you into the karmic cycle of that suffering.
When you manage to integrate this into your life; be fruitful and multiply! 😂